I have to learn to throw things away.

I finally started unpacking the past year of my life, but when it comes to cleaning and unpacking, I have one fault: I HATE throwing things away. What if I will need it someday, even if it is just a lanyard from a conference or a retreat. Every item holds some significance to me, and I hope that if I find it in 10, 20 years I will remember what it meant to me. But, that creates a lot of clutter. My room is filled with "junk" at every corner, my brothers old room is filled with some more "junk" and the attic is filled with even more "junk." There comes a time when I have to sort through of this "junk" and see what is worth saving, what I can turn into another scrapbook and what needs to be thrown away and just kept as a memory in my heart.

I can't get rid of those notebooks, because that was a really interesting class, or its for my major. Those are my scrapbook supplies, and even though there is one sticker left, I may want to use it someday. I have collected those beanie babies since I was 7, I can't pack them away, my dad made me a special shelf.

I feel like I collect things more than do anything with them. I have a ton of books, but have only read a handful of them. But, I keep meaning to get to them, there is just not enough time. I have a ton of knick knacks, probably at least one from every place I have ever been.

But it is interesting, going through your room and finding things that you may have hid or small things and try to remember why you kept it. There is a reason that you kept it, whether it is something silly or something really meaningful, there was a reason that you kept it in that box on the bottom drawer of your nightstand. There has to be a reason, like why did I keep a poster of a dog on a skateboard, I just found it in a box in my closet.

But, as I was going through my room, I realized that most of my drawers are empty, everything is just on top of each piece of furniture. My desk and dresser have not seen daylight in years but their drawers are empty. The clothes that once sat there, the high school books that once lay on top. There are now piles of books from college that I unpacked two years ago (wow, it feels like yesterday), that still sit on top, but nothing inside. Why is this such a strange occurrence, I mean it makes sense, I took my clothes with me to school and I have new books that only come home once a year.

My freshman year of college, I changed, more than I can even put into words, and when I returned home, I re-painted my room. It was a hot pink color, and I hate pink, I painted it when I was six, but I just never changed it. And I think with the changes I experienced at school, I knew it was time for another change, it is now blue, blue walls, blue carpet, blue comforter. And thought it never occurred to me before, it is a little lighter than "Assumption blue." Strange, and strange that I think of this now. It also occurs to me, where did everything go? I'm sure I emptied everything out to move the furniture around, but where did everything go that was inside. Is it in the piles of "junk" in my brothers room? Is it in the attic? Did my parents throw it away on me?

I think that its time for me to find that stuff, and take some time to remember why its still here, what it means to me, why I have kept it for so long. There is a reason for everything, and though this task may take a really long time (when I say I have a lot of stuff, I mean I have A LOT of stuff), it is a necessary task. I have lived in this house for 21 years and 3 months and I have accumulated a lot, and barely thrown anything away.

It is now a time to reminisce and finally throw some of my past away, because keeping it causes clutter, and when there is clutter I may have trouble finding my present and future amongst items of my past.